How FOMO Is Killing Your Relationships (Fear of Missing Out)
This is not about missing out. It's actually about your ability to trust a Good Dad.
Have you ever thought "I really like this girl, but...what if there's a girl better suited for me that comes along once I get serious with this girl?" or "This job seems like a good one, I haven't had one in a while, but what if I could get a higher paying job in a week or two from another company (that I haven't heard of or am expecting anything from)?" or "I'd could probably serve as part of the welcoming team at church, but what if they would want me to teach instead and I couldn't do it because I was serving." That is FOMO (the Fear Of Missing Out). It's the fear that if I take this thing, something better will come along afterwards.
Let's just jump in. No shame, but buckle up. We need to deal with this.
The Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) is a lie from the pit of hell against the character of God. This lie says the same thing that the serpent told Adam and Eve - "God won't give you all you need and want. You need to take it into your own hands to make sure you don't miss it.” It’s fear. Anytime fear is your motivator, your life will be marked with anxiety, worry, self-reliance, and striving. None of these were present before the fall or in God's plan for your life currently.
The lie that says that you could possibility miss something really good that God wants to give you, is just exactly that. It's a lie. We have to break up with it the way we break up with all the other lies. You give it to God.
God, I break up with the lie that I could miss out on something you want to give me. I disagree with the lie that says your promises are dependent on my ability to achieve them. I rebuke the lie that says you if I won't enjoy this as much because I know there is something else somewhere else... somewhere that is better for me. I give this to you. Will you give me Your Truth about the situation?
Then listen. Listen to the words He says, because they will pennetrate the cloud of "what if's" surrounding your future. If you can't hear anything, check the Word.
The Word says "He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all--how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?" - Romans 8:32. He does not withhold. He is not stingy. He is gracious and abundant in His gifts.
The Word say "No Good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly." - Psalm 84:11. No. Good. Thing. Does. He. Withhold. Write that on your mirror, tape it to your laptop, tattoo it down your leg. Get this truth in front of you.
The Word says "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." - James 1:17. This means if it's good and perfect for you. You got it. If you didn't get it, then it's not good for you. It may be good, just not for you now and in this season.
So what about that person who could become that "special person."
Normally, FOMO tells us "he's good, but there could be someone better than him." The devil only has a handful of tricks up his sleeve and he sure does use them repetitively. Comparison. As he's getting you to compare yourself to everyone else to see if you're good enough, he'll get you to measure them to see to see if they give you what you want.
My suggestion: we have to change our paradigm on people. No more comparison to see who's better or worse. Each person is a flavor.
When you're eating food, one flavor isn't better than another. It's just different. Some people love spicy and others have more of a sweet tooth. Find your flavor (know who you are), then find what your flavor mixes well with (date others).
You may be pineapple who's in a delicious relationship with a chicken (teriyaki). Excellent choice. Your flavors are mixing well and you're benefiting those around you. If you go all the way and decide to get married that's a wonderful meal you can give your children. If things don't work out, you may meet a ham of a guy and decide to go for pizza (Hawaiian). Another excellent choice.
One relationship is not better than another, it's just different. You are finding who you are and who you pair well with. If you like the taste of the meal you're cooking now (the relationship you're in) stick with it. Stop considering if someone "better" "could possibly, one day, maybe come". You're ruining the meal you're cooking. If it doesn't taste good, get out of the kitchen. Otherwise, enjoy the meal and see how well you blend together and how others are benefiting and enjoying the taste of your relationship.
God is very invested in your life. He literally died to give you the life He intended for you. He did not spare is own son, how would He not freely give you everything? (Romans 8:32). He is very invested in making sure you get every good and perfect gift to you. You can rest in His desire and ability to get it to you. Engage with what's in front of you. Don't wait for something else that "could be out there" that "could be better." Love what's in front of you and help it bloom and grow. Fear steals joy. Don't let it steal anymore.