Giving Love Room To Conceive

As singles in the Church, we're taught to leverage our singleness for the Kingdom. Since you don't have a family of your own, a significant other, or a new list of responsibilities that come with joining your life together, pour yourself out for the gospel. Give yourself to ministry, to sharing the gospel, taking care of the poor, serving in the nursery/babysitting, etc.

This is excellent advice. We're tangibly letting people encounter the Love of God and experiencing His goodness. It also teaches us self-sacrifice, giving beyond ourselves, living for something bigger which prepares us for the marriage that many of us desire. If you're still single and you've never given a season to serving, you should do it. I've done it for nearly 10 years and count it such a precious gift to give my God.

Some of us need to stop giving ourselves so freely in the single season.

I heard how a Olympic female distance dunner, which I won't name here (because I can't remember who it was) was having problems conceiving. Her and husband were trying trying, but nothing was sticking. After going to her doctor, he gave her the bad news "stop running."  What?! It's my life! It's my livelihood!  It turns out, the low amount of body fat and high amounts of stress on the body does not create a conducive environment for ovulation. Essentially, she was working so hard to run that her body shut off the baby making process because it wasn't a good place for a baby to grow. Amenorrhea, chronic missed periods, is common in 24-26% of runners*.  Some professional runners go through "VLT" (voluntary largeness time) to change their lifestyle for a healthier environment to grow in.

Then the Holy Spirit nudged me. Ut-oh. Some of us are really good at getting stuff done, filling our schedules with good things, and living to the brink of our abilities. This can absolutely be great, but the question I was confronted with was, where is my relationship going to fit in? Where will those date nights fit into your schedule of 6/7 planned evenings a week? Where will the fun flirty text messages fit into a headspace already calculating 10 other things? Could you have coffee or grab lunch in between your two jobs one day of the week? When could the hike or day trip to a nearby city fit into your catch-up of a weekend?

Some of us are wondering why love hasn't happened for us yet and I would ask:

Is your lifestyle providing space for love to conceive?

It's not a one time event, it's a lifestyle and it takes time. You want it to take time, develop, and grow. That's a good thing. The key is not to add another seminar/class about healthy relationships. For you, you need to let down a little, gain some proverbial fat - fun, and give room for something to bloom. It will be wonderful when it does.


*Tips On Getting Pregnant: Can Exercise Affect Your Fertility?

DatingAbram GoffComment