Text graphic with the words "How far is too far" arranged vertically, with the word "How" crossed out by a white brush stroke, and the phrase "Far is too far" at the bottom, white and gray text on a black background.

Navigating
Physical Boundaries

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Just keep it pure.

Just keep it pure.

Don’t do anything that would cause you to stumble.

Don’t do anything that would cause you to stumble.

It’s about your heart, not just actions.

It’s about your heart, not just actions.

You’ll know when you’ve gone too far.

You’ll know when you’ve gone too far.

Are you tired of
unhelpful or cliche answers?

As long as you're not having sex, everything's fine.

As long as you're not having sex, everything's fine.

If you truly love each other, physical boundaries won’t be an issue.

If you truly love each other, physical boundaries won’t be an issue.

You’re overthinking it—just go with the flow.

You’re overthinking it—just go with the flow.

Physical boundaries are just cultural. The Bible doesn’t say much about them.

Physical boundaries are just cultural. The Bible doesn’t say much about them.

Just avoid kissing, and you'll be fine.

Just avoid kissing, and you'll be fine.

You can always stop before it gets too far.

You can always stop before it gets too far.

If you’re both comfortable, it’s okay.

If you’re both comfortable, it’s okay.

Everyone wants to know

Where do you draw

the line?

But, what if we’re asking the wrong question?

how do we use physical intimacy
to intentionally build our long term relationship,

What if we focused on

honoring God, ourselves, and being honest in the process?

A couple sitting closely on a blanket in a desert landscape, holding hands and leaning their foreheads together.

Have you ever
wondered?

A couple kissing outdoors on a road with trees in the background, both wearing dark hoodies.

How far is too far in dating and relationships?

Close-up of two people sitting closely, with one person's hand resting on the other person's leg, both wearing casual jeans, one with a white t-shirt and a watch, and the other with a black shirt and jewelry.

Why do physical boundaries even matter?

A couple lying in bed, snuggling and smiling at each other.

What if I’ve already gone too far—can I start over? Does it even matter?

A man and woman are laughing and smiling at each other outdoors in a park, facing each other with foreheads touching.

How can I balance freedom and self-control without feeling restricted?

A smiling man and woman hugging each other playfully indoors near a gray backdrop and a window with natural light.

How do I communicate my boundaries to someone I’m dating?

A young woman with brown hair and a nose piercing standing close to a young man with dreadlocks at the beach, both looking at the camera, overcast sky in the background.

How do I handle sexual attraction in a God-honoring way while dating?

We need real answers,

that work on a Friday night, not just a Sunday morning.

"How Far Is Too Far" is a down-to-earth guide for anyone figuring out relationships, dating, and intimacy. Instead of just asking, "How far is too far?" it shifts the focus to "What do I want out of this, and how do I get there?" With practical advice, real-life stories, and tools that actually work, this book helps you set boundaries that protect your heart, build trust, and create deeper connections. Whether you’re single, dating, or thinking about marriage, it’s all about approaching relationships with purpose and confidence—without any shame or fear. It’s not just a list of rules; it’s a guide to building healthy, fulfilling relationships.

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See The Journey We’ll Take

  • 1. The Wrong Question

    We’ve been approaching this conversation the wrong way. We’ve been asking where’s the line, what can or can’t we do. We’ve been focusing on avoiding a negative rather than building a positive. What if we reframed it in the form of our goals?

  • 2. Bonding The Right Way

    We’re made to bond and connect with people in friendship and romantic relationships. Most of us don’t realize how we bond so that we can learn to bond with the right person, in the right time, the right way.

  • 3. Where's The Line?

    The question everyone asks. Where is the line when it comes to physical boundaries? Let me walk you through your goals, your process and come up with a plan on how to execute it.

  • 4. Holding The Line

    This is where we get practical—really practical. I’ll be really honest with my process and the weak areas I see many people struggle with, and we’ll make a plan to set you up for success.

  • 5. Internally Strong & True

    External boundaries are helpful, but internal guides last and develop the character you’ll want. We’ll look at how to become internally steadfast and the lies that we tell ourselves.

  • 6. Engagement Season

    Once you’ve found the right person and are preparing for forever, you’ll need a new set of skills and time to refocus on your ultimate goal.

  • 7. Resetting & Redemption

    This is the most compassionate chapter of the book. Whether you didn’t know any better before or knew what you were doing and did it anyway, we all need some forgiveness and to clean up and reset. Here are practical steps in how to do that because it’s never too late.

  • 8. Winning

    I don’t believe physical boundaries are something to struggle through. I believe they set you up for success and build your relationship in an incredible way. I want to see you win and bless you with wisdom and grace to do so. 

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A couple lying on a bed, hugging and kissing each other. The man is facing downward, and the woman is resting her head on his shoulder. There is a sign on the wall behind them that reads "Let's build our happily ever after."

“Don’t give up what you want most
for what you think you want now.”

A woman and a man are smiling and laughing near a large window in a cozy indoor space, with the woman giving the man a piggyback ride.

Hear what others are saying…

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Andrea A.

  • Full Review:
    Abram is the kind of man you listen to. Not because he commands to be the center of the room - quite the opposite - because if you don’t listen you’ll miss it. His wisdom comes in a quiet but strong voice to give you clarity to your questions. I’ve known Abram for 7 years and he’s just as intentional of a friend and just as wise of a mentor as he was when we first met. He’s a man who lives his life in a striking resemblance to Jesus and I couldn’t think of someone better to listen to than that. How Far is Too Far will answer your questions but will also offer new ones you haven’t considered, then it will kindly ask you to step in front of the mirror in a moment of self examination to ask yourself who God is currently shaping you to be. Don’t sit back, sit on the edge of your seat and prepare to engage with this material that has been handcrafted to lead a generation into purity through the quiet strong wisdom Abram has to offer to you and anyone willing to listen.

Black and white photo of a man with glasses adjusting a necktie.

Christian M.

  • Full Review:
    Calling all people; both men and women who have wrestled with the unspoken and over spoken boundary lines within dating. To those who have experienced shame from doing the “wrong” thing or even the “right” thing, those who have struggled to find the line, those who have given up because it feels too hard; this read is for you.

    Abram is nothing short of passionate in his pursuit of defining healthy relationships, while giving others tools to experience success within this realm. How far is too far is not just a book, but a journey to peel back the layers of society in order to unearth what’s actually within our hearts. From this place, the reader gets to take it deeper and invite God into a raw place with the purpose of bringing truth and transformation. Imagine looking at this topic without the lens of shame and condemnation.

    This is the lens Abram provides, and yet the way this book is structured gives the reader the opportunity to discover how they actually think. The purpose of this book is not to create another societal expectation. The purpose of this book is to lay the foundation of truth about God’s design for sex, while encouraging the reader to engage with the Holy Spirit on their specific journey.

    No formulas, just asking the right questions and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide. Grab your favorite pen or pencil, get comfy, and get ready to have God move in your dating life through this book!

A woman with long dark hair smiling, wearing a colorful floral dress, standing in front of a bush with vibrant pink flowers.

Liz H.

  • Expanded Review:
    As his friend, I’ve seen him live from this purpose in his own life, and I can affirm that he’s the real deal. As you read this book, I’m excited that you’ll benefit from Abram’s practical wisdom, personal victories, and honest advice—just as I have over the years.

A smiling man with a beard in a purple shirt outdoors, with blurred trees in the background.

Ben B.

Two people stand close together on a city sidewalk, laughing and smiling. Behind them is a building with large glass windows, two flags hanging above the entrance—one US flag and one Swiss flag—and urban architecture with a fire escape and reflected buildings.
A smiling man with short brown hair, wearing a green button-up shirt over a black t-shirt, standing outdoors in front of green foliage.

About Abram

Abram is passionate about helping people have successful, connected relationships and resolving the roadblocks that stop us from having them. While dating and eventually pursuing and winning his now wife, he had to find actual helpful tools to navigate a sex drive, a strong attraction, and a desire to honor God. This book is the breadcrumb trail he left and has since revisited to help many others navigate physical boundaries.

Find Out "How Far is Too Far?"

Find Out "How Far is Too Far?"

A dark green poster with white painted horizontal stripes and large gray text that reads, "HOW FAR IS TOO FAR." Smaller black text within the stripes says "HOW," "FAR," "IS," "TOO," "FAR." The bottom of the poster has white text that reads, "NAVIGATING PHYSICAL BOUNDARIES."

Ready to shift the way you think and start building the relationship you ultimately want?

That our relationships feel full of peace and developing trust not anxiety. It’s time we stop listening to the movies on how to get the kind of relationship we want. It’s time that more people look back in your marriage with a sigh of thankfulness and not regret.

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FAQ

  • Most of the time, we think this is a quick, short answer - but I’d like to challenge you to understand what’s actually happening in your relationship and then make a plan to build it well. There’s no extra fluff in here, just practical tools to understand and then build your relationship well.

  • Yes, I love Jesus deeply and this book came out of my journey to navigate dating while honoring God.

    That being said, even if you’re not a Christian, I still pull in relationship wisdom, neurological science, and secular research to build this path.

  • No problem. If you’re in, or want to be in a dating relationship, this book will help you understand what’s going on inside of you and how to build your relationship on pace. I come at it from a Christian perspective, but even if you have a different moral background, it’s still important to pace your relationship and know how to do that well.

  • Most of the time, as I’ve shared this message it’s been with 20 and 30' somethings. It’s for anyone in or re-entering into a relationship. I’d recommend it for someone as young as 14 and as old as 84.