How Do I Know If I’m Ready to Date?

Hint: It’s less about age and more about who’s in your God spot.

Let’s just say what we’re all thinking: dating can be awesome… and terrifying.
There’s excitement, attraction, butterflies, and the real possibility of falling in love. There’s also vulnerability, rejection, awkward small talk, and figuring out who’s paying for dinner.

But before we even get to the actual dating part, there’s one question every Christian should pause long enough to ask themselves honestly:

“Am I actually ready to date?”

Not “Am I lonely?”
Not “Am I the only one in my friend group still single?”
Not “Did someone finally swipe right on me?”

But truly—am I ready to pursue a healthy, God-honoring relationship?

Because here’s the truth: just because you can date doesn’t mean you should yet.

Dating Isn’t About Completion—It’s About Contribution

Let’s start with this myth we’ve all heard at some point:

“You just need to find your other half.”

Cue the sappy music and the Jerry Maguire scene: “You complete me.”

Sounds romantic, right? But here’s the problem: if you’re looking for someone else to complete you, you’ll end up putting pressure on them to fill a void that only God was ever meant to satisfy.

God didn’t design dating to fix your loneliness.
He designed it as a place to practice love—to give, to serve, to grow.

If you're still waiting for someone to come along and make you happy, you’re not ready to date.
If you’re expecting a relationship to validate your worth or give your life meaning, you’re not ready to date.
If you’re still healing, still angry, still hiding—hold off.

You don’t need to be perfect to start dating. But you do need to be whole enough to bring something to the table besides your emptiness.

Check Your God Spot First

Every one of us has a part of our soul designed only for God. That space—your identity, peace, security, and sense of worth—is wired to be filled by your Creator.

When we don’t let God fill it, we try to fill it with other people. That’s when relationships get messy.

• We turn crushes into idols.

• We get anxious when they don’t text back.

• We cling too tightly or expect them to meet needs they were never created to carry.

This is where co-dependence, insecurity, and manipulation are born—not out of malice, but out of misplacement. You’ve taken a person and stuffed them into your “God spot.”

And spoiler: they will fail you. They’re human.

A healthy relationship starts with letting God be God in your life. That means:

• You know who you are without a boyfriend or girlfriend.

• You run to God with your pain, not just your partner.

• You aren’t trying to use dating as a cure for your emptiness.

Until God is in the right place, no relationship will be.

5 Signs You Might Not Be Ready to Date Yet

Let’s get practical. Here are a few signs that it might be wise to hit pause on dating for now:

1. You’re Still Healing from a Past Relationship

If your ex still occupies 50% of your thought life, you’re not ready for someone new.

Healing takes time. That breakup pain you’re trying to stuff down or mask with a new person? It’ll surface—and probably sabotage your next relationship if you’re not honest about it.

Don’t jump from person to person trying to feel whole. Let God work in the broken places before you invite someone else into them.

2. You Don’t Know Your Boundaries

Boundaries aren’t just for physical stuff (though those are important). Boundaries are how you guard your heart, manage your time, and protect your emotional health.

If you don’t know what your boundaries are—or if you’ve never thought about setting any—you’re likely to either let someone walk all over you or cross your own lines without realizing it.

Boundaries require self-awareness and discipline. Both are signs of relational maturity.

3. You’re Chasing Validation

Dating because you’re lonely, bored, or trying to prove something will always lead to disappointment.

Here’s a hard truth: if your self-worth depends on someone else wanting you, it’s not self-worth. It’s approval addiction.

Don’t date to feel loved. Feel loved by God, then date out of that security.

4. You’re Not Willing to Give

Dating isn’t about what you get. It’s about what you give. It’s practicing the kind of love described in 1 Corinthians 13—patient, kind, not self-seeking.

If you’re entering a relationship hoping someone else will make you happy, constantly meet your needs, and always initiate everything… you’re not ready.

Marriage is a lifetime of giving. Dating is the practice ground.

5. You Can’t Hear God Clearly

God cares about your relationships, and He wants to walk with you in them. But if you’re not in the habit of hearing His voice when you’re single, you probably won’t suddenly become super tuned-in once someone cute shows up.

Get used to talking to God about your desires. Ask Him to guide you, convict you, protect you. If your connection with Him isn’t strong now, that should be your first pursuit—not a partner.

How Do I Know I Am Ready?

Let’s flip it. Here are some signs you might be ready to date:

• You know your worth isn’t tied to your relationship status.

• You’ve healed (or are actively healing) from past wounds.

• You’ve defined your boundaries and shared them with trusted mentors.

• You’re pursuing God first—and your identity is grounded in Him.

• You’re emotionally stable, spiritually hungry, and willing to give, not just take.

Also? You’re excited to date, but you’re not desperate. That balance matters.

Dating Is for the Wholehearted

Healthy dating doesn’t require perfection. But it does require intentionality.

That means dating with your heart aligned, your motives checked, and your priorities straight.

If your answer to “Why do I want to date?” is something like:

• “Because I want to explore a God-centered relationship.”

• “Because I’m ready to give love, not just get it.”

• “Because I’ve done the work and I’m excited to share life with someone.”

Then you're probably in a solid place to begin.

Dating isn’t the ultimate goal. It’s the starting point for learning how to love. And it’s worth doing well.

Final Thoughts: You’re Worth the Wait

If you’re not ready yet, that’s okay.

Don’t force it. Don’t rush it. Let God continue building you up, filling the lonely places, and shaping you into someone who can date with clarity, confidence, and conviction.

Your season of singleness isn’t a holding pattern. It’s a training ground.

And when you are ready to date, you’ll bring strength, wisdom, and presence into the relationship—not just need.

Want Help Navigating the Physical Side of Dating?

When you do start dating, the physical side can get complicated fast. That’s why I wrote How Far Is Too Far?—a no-fluff, honest, and super practical guide to navigating physical boundaries in dating as a Christian.

If you’ve ever wondered what’s okay, where the line is, or how to build something healthy and holy without feeling like a prude or a rebel… this book is for you.

Grab your copy at PhysicalBoundaries.com.
Because you’re not just waiting—you’re preparing.